Do you feel stressed out and anxious that you’ll “miss” your vocation? Do you get upset with God when you try to do everything right but still don’t receive a definitive answer about what He wants you to do? Are you concerned that you will make the wrong life choices? Have no fear. Read on…. 

Let’s start by examining the definition of vocation.

What is a vocation?

A vocation is a calling from God. It is a path that you choose, with God’s help, as your vehicle to Heaven. It is the path for which you are most ideally suited. The Catechism defines vocation as “the calling or destiny we have in this life and hereafter. God has created the human person to love and serve Him; the fulfillment of this vocation is eternal happiness. (emphasis added) The vocation of the laity consists in seeking the Kingdom of God by engaging in temporal affairs and directing them according to God’s will.”

My vocation can’t make me happy because the deepest happiness does not come from doing any thing. It comes from RELATIONSHIP.

Any thing that we do must be ordered toward loving the heart of Christ. There is no point in sacrificing your life (and that is what we are called to do when we enter our vocation) for anything. The only reason to give your life is for someone with whom you are in love. Our vocations, whatever form they take, are fundamentally the gift of our lives for the one whom we most love. 

Every action we carry out should be ordered towards a deeper relationship with God. If we start to equate our vocation, the vehicle, with actual fulfillment itself, we begin to make an idol of our vocation.

You wouldn’t marry a guy just for his money, right? I hope not! We know deep down that marrying for what you can get from someone would be wrong. Yet do we prioritize finding our vocation over an actual relationship with God? Do you want what God can give you, or God himself? After all, Heaven is beholding God face to face with nothing between.

Longing for God himself must be our fuel for the striving.

Here’s the reassuring part: you don’t have to wait for your vocation to start in order to have that most fulfilling, deep relationship. Your real life doesn’t start when your vocation does. Whatever weird middle ground you are wandering in now, that relationship is still available to you.

Real life is now! 

In my own life I often used to labor under the illusion that God would only be pleased with me if I “got it right.” If I could marry the exact right person, enter the exact right religious order, etc., then my salvation was practically guaranteed. Hence much of the stress and anxiety that surrounds making decisions. And that is not God’s will for us. Conscientious deliberation, seeking counsel, and dedicated prayer are necessary; however, God does not will that we agonize over decisions or that we choose the one perfect thing right away. The most important part is to intend to do God’s will, and after careful consideration, to begin to act. The desire to do good insofar as our power to know at that moment, is enough for God. When my 2 and 1-year-old children try to bring me my coffee but spill it along the way, I easily overlook the spill because I see that their intention was to do something good for me. The same is true with our Heavenly Father.

A final point on this- and this is important for those who hold on to the belief that vocation is not just the path, but fulfillment itself- I can see things from a different side as a married person than when I was single. My husband and children cannot and should not fulfill me. That is not their job. (Don’t get me wrong; I love them and I would not trade them for anything in the world!) They are my path toward sanctity not because they please me all of the time, but because I serve them for love of God. 

So my question for you is, what or whom do you love the most? Is it God? 

Stacey Sumereau’s unique journey spans from singing to acting in the Broadway National Tours of Beauty and the Beast and The Wizard of Oz, to discerning religious life on Reality TV (The Sisterhood: Becoming Nuns), to the vocation of marriage and motherhood. Her mission is to help young people find God’s plan for their vocations and other life choices. Stacey’s unique presentations include singing, humorous storytelling, leading worship music, and even fire-eating! Stacey has spoken at the National Catholic Youth Conference and the LA Religious Education Congress, as well as dioceses across the country. She hosts the Called and Caffeinated Podcast and Blog and leads mission trips for the Carmelite Sisters. For more information visit:  www.staceysumereau.com

Sometimes it’s incredible to find extraordinary truths about our faith through ordinary events, experiences, and everyday things. According to St. Bernadette of Lourdes, “when we have faith we can see God in everything.” This is something that has just recently happened to me. A new truth was revealed to me, through a piece of common, ordinary thread. And you know what? It was amazing!

As common and ordinary as a piece of thread may be, it serves a very useful purpose. It keeps our clothes intact, and when combined with other threads, it can make a beautiful garment. Threads can come in different shapes, sizes, colors, and forms! It can be used for sewing, crocheting, upholstering, mending, and decorating. In fact, St. Bernadette, one of the most beloved saints from France, excelled in the art of sewing. The precision and attention to detail that Bernadette applied to her sewing, she also applied to her prayers, penance, and obedience of faith. Throughout her life, Bernadette was continually mending her ways and enhancing the spiritual fabric of her life and the lives of those she touched. How can we do the same in our lives?

God “Sews” us to Himself

First, let us never forget that God loves us so; He knows the very fiber of who and what we are. “You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb…My very self you know. My bones are not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, fashioned in the depths of the earth.” [Psalm 139:13-15]

Yes, we are made in God’s likeness; we are clothed in the dignity of the image of God; and yet we are still prone to sin. Perhaps, Bernadette was meticulous in her ways because she knew that just as pulling out a little thread can create a hole in a beautiful garment, committing a sin—no matter how small—damages the integrity and quality of our precious lives and souls. So what can we do to emulate St. Bernadette and carefully tend to the very fabric of our lives? 

Mending Our  “Patches”

Like little Bernadette, with the time and attention we put into our prayers, penance, and obedience of faith, we too can be clothed in a new self, “created in God’s way of righteousness and holiness in truth” [Eph 4:24]. As we continue mending our own patches through the gifts and graces that our Lord has bestowed upon us, we begin to see God’s own weaving in our lives. Our hearts begin to open and our lives become changed for the better.  

For those of us who worry or become anxious with everyday life, we must remember what Jesus said, in the book of Matthew: “Learn from the way wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown in the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?” [Matthew 6:28-30] We are called to entrust our lives to our Lord in order to grow in our faith. 

“Threading” Our Purpose

How often do we feel that our lives are tearing apart at the seams? Sometimes we may feel overwhelmed with our daily lives and not know what to do. Other times we may feel that everything we do is so common and ordinary. We may become discouraged with the idea that what we do has no real or useful purpose. In times like these, we must look to St. Bernadette and learn from her. She was an impoverished, sickly girl chosen by God, through Mary our Blessed Mother, to bring us the healing spring of Lourdes. Despite the physical and emotional challenges Bernadette faced throughout her life, as well as her self-doubts, she knew her purpose. In her obedience of faith, she offered up her prayers and her works for the love of God and for the conversion of sinners.

Even with our daily challenges, worries, and doubts, each and every one of us has a purpose—to love the Lord our God and to love one another as God loves us. That purpose keeps our life together individually and as a whole. By sharing the love God gives to each of us, we can bring the beauty of His healing grace through our common, ordinary living to our world which desperately needs it! 

“Weaving” Ourselves into God’s Plan

As we continue deepening our faith lives and seeking the Kingdom of God and all of His righteousness, we will begin seeing the true meaning and purpose of our lives. We begin experiencing a transformation that allows our inner goodness to come through us by the way we live and treat ourselves, and treat one another. 

As we continue weaving our way in this life, let us begin considering all that we do in a day in terms of our career, home life, relationships, health, chores—even something as simple as sewing a button—as offerings of love to God for the sake of our salvation and the salvation of the world. As we join in our prayers, good works, and acts of faith, we begin weaving together a beautiful tapestry of love for God and for each other.

So let’s go back to the beginning of our simple and ordinary thread. Although our life may seem common and ordinary, like a piece of thread, God gives each of us a purpose. With every prayer, we strengthen our ties with Heaven for ourselves and for humanity. With every act of penance, good works replace sinful acts, selflessness overcomes selfishness, and hope is given to the hopeless, bringing the beauty of God’s love into the world. And like St. Bernadette of Lourdes, with our obedience of faith, we say yes to follow God’s will and His way in all that we say and do every day, enhancing the spiritual fabric of our life and the lives of those we touch. Amen!

Carol Monaco is an independent writer and speaker. For the past 17 years, she has been the writer/editor of Journey to Our Lady,  a spiritual publication that helps readers seek out a closer relationship to our Blessed Mother, who draws the faithful closer to the Holy Trinity.  From her Journey, Carol has authored Treasures of the Rosary and Heavenly Mother Help Me; Prayers, Poetry and Prose for Daily Living, as companions for individuals trying to live their faith every day.  Her devotional columns can be found in Liguorian magazine, CatholicStand.com and Catholic365.com. Carol’s spiritual reflections, poetry, and prayers are available on her web site: www.journeytoourlady.com and on Twitter:  Carol Monaco @journey2ourlady. 

As someone who grew up primarily in Catholic and Christian environments, transitioning to a non-religious college campus was a surreal experience.  I was used to praying three times during the school day and studying theology as part of my curriculum. I saw religious sisters around every corner, and participated in prayer services, Masses, and Confession. My faith was incorporated into every activity I did—and I loved it.

I chose my college because it was perfect for me.  It was a small school with an excellent writing program.  It was in a wonderful location, had tons of exciting opportunities, and felt like a home the moment I first stepped onto campus for a visit. The only concern I had was that it was not a Catholic school.  I was a little afraid to be somewhere that didn’t embed religious education in my learning.  As I began adjusting to these changes, dialoguing with fellow peers, and living out my faith on campus, I gained some valuable insight that could help those just beginning their own College journey this Fall.

1. Find A Solid Faith Community 

Transitioning to college meant a lot of changes.  I got confused when I entered classrooms and couldn’t find a crucifix and a statue of Mary on display.  I couldn’t set my internal clock by the timing of school-wide prayers. I had to foster my faith independently for the first time.  It took a lot of adjustment. However,the college right next door had a Catholic center that opened its arms to students from my school, so I trusted that I could find community there. The Catholic Center gave me a home base and was very helpful in fostering my faith journey. In that space, I felt connected to fellow believers.

2. Share the Truths of the Catholic Faith

On my own campus, I felt like I was in a faith desert.  Whenever people around me talked about religion, it was usually in a derogatory way.  Most people that I encountered had been raised Christian or Catholic, but their faith had faded, and they had walked away from the Church.  The predominant attitude on this campus is one of disillusionment; they think that if you still believe in God, you’re naive, and you haven’t questioned the world around you enough.

This prevailing attitude makes me think of a quote from Venerable Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen: “There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate the Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be.”  The people around me all have very skewed ideas of the Church.  For whatever reason, and from whatever circumstance, they don’t know the truth about Christ and about His bride, the Church. 

In 2 Corinthians 5:20, St. Paul states, “We are ambassadors for Christ, as if God were appealing through us.”  That role of ambassador has come to inform my movements through this campus.  There are so many people that I encounter who don’t know the Church, but think they do, and I have the opportunity to educate them and expose them to the reality of the loving Church I grew up in.  I am so grateful that God has blessed me with this calling.

3. Dialogue in a Loving and Relatable Way

Whenever I am in a conversation with someone about the Catholic faith, I do so with love.  I never want to come in swinging with fire.  Often times, these people have heard enough of that. They have heard the condemnation offered by judgmental people of faith, but they don’t know the love that God has for them.  My goal is to reflect Christ by loving those around me, and building trusting, friendly relationships with those I encounter.

Because of that trust, when a topic of faith comes up in conversation, we can discuss it. It can be an uncomfortable topic for some, but I try my best to make it accessible. I maintain a conversational tone, often using slang, references, and even memes to explain concepts of faith. I’ll sprinkle in some of the official Church teachings but present it in a way that doesn’t feel intimidating.  If someone is receptive to learning more, I will bounce questions back at them, and try to learn more about where they’re coming from. I will then tailor open-ended questions toward their perspective, so that they think about God in new and exciting ways that lead them slowly closer to a relationship with Him.

For a Catholic, attending a non-Catholic college school may feel isolating at times, but there are many exhilarating opportunities for outreach.  I am so grateful that I get to be the representation of Jesus and His Church for the people I encounter every day.  I pray that God bestows on me the grace to represent Him well.  I also pray that God blesses me with a love for His children that grows stronger every day, so that I can show the people around me the beauty of our Church.

4. Inspire Others To Foster a Stronger Relationship with God

I have learned that you won’t convert people with fear. I will admit, being Catholic is not always easy, and the road to salvation is paved with suffering.  There are difficult issues to grapple with, hard questions to answer, and deep-seated changes that need to be made in order to follow the Lord more closely.  Though most people aren’t typically attracted to suffering; they will always be attracted to love.  Once you inspire them to foster a strong relationship with God in their heart, conversion will follow because it is motivated by love. 

You don’t have to fix every issue and answer every question in one day.  You just have to show people that a relationship with our Heavenly Father is worth it.  You can demonstrate God’s love by living out your life joyfully and loving everyone around you.  Live your faith through example, and they will be drawn to you. Then point them toward God, who is the source of all love, and continue your journey towards Him together.

No matter what college we go to, the majors we pursue, or the communities we become involved with, we are called to share our faith to the best of our ability. By encouraging fruitful dialogue and transformative interactions among your peers, you may be able to inspire those who are searching or struggling. In the words of G.K. Chesterton, “Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair.” Only then can we reap the joys of sharing our faith with those who would have never even thought to give it a chance.

Stephanie Hauer is a writer and editor who lives in Vermont and aspires to have a position at a Catholic Publishing house. Growing up in New Jersey,  she developed a passion for language from a very young age.  She contributed to the fourth edition of the Catholic Youth Bible from Saint Mary’s Press, and has published articles with To Write Love on Her Arms and Rehumanize International.  Her poetry is featured on the Create | Encounter website. 

What are you seeking most in life? Happiness? Joy? Love? Every human heart is created to desire these things.  But how do we fulfill our desires in a healthy way? God created our hearts in this way –  with a void, for a reason.

Because He fully intends to fill it!! 

Most of us spend years, if not a lifetime, trying to fill that void with things of the world, money, drugs, alcohol, and partying, but the only thing that will truly fill our hearts is GOD. True and lasting happiness comes from a relationship with Him and Him alone. Just as we have relationships with our family and friends, that is how real and tangible our relationship with Our Lord must be.

St. Augustine says, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in you, O Lord.” 

It took me years to realize this, but once I did and I developed a personal relationship with Christ, my heart was filled with so much joy and love. The sooner you recognize this, the happier you will be and the better your life will be. 

I had never known such joy and deep fulfillment in all my life until I came to know Christ in an intimate and personal way. Just like any other relationship in our life, our relationship with God takes work, but it is so worth it and will be the best thing for you. You may be thinking , ‘well that all sounds great and nice, but how do I live out that faith in my daily life?’ 

Here are 3 practical ways to help you do just that! 

1 – PRAYER

Praying everyday and keeping an open conversation with God is an essential part of living out your faith. Make God your very best friend and talk to Him like you talk to any other friends. How do you communicate with your friends? If you call or text them everyday, then you are going to grow closer to them and grow deeper in love and friendship. Just like if you stop talking to your friends or family, stop texting them all the time, you are going to grow apart. It is the same with our relationship with God. 

Prayer is the main way that we can communicate with Our Lord and foster that relationship. Saying formal prayers like the Hail Mary, Our Father, Glory Be, and the Rosary, etc. are great ways to pray and can help us to deepen our faith and relationship with Jesus. Simply sharing your heart and your struggles with God can be a powerful prayer as well.  

Waking up every morning and saying hello to God, thanking Him for the day and offering your day to Him can foster a heart of gratitude. It is very helpful to pray again before bed simply thanking God for all the many ways He blessed you throughout your day. Also examining your conscience and being genuinely sorry for the ways that you may have turned away from Him that day is really beneficial. This helps us to reflect and also recognize His mercy and forgiveness in our lives, and to remember that tomorrow is a new day –  a fresh start. 

2 – THE SACRAMENTS

Jesus left us with the incredible gift of the Sacraments. They provide us with an abundance of grace and are an important way for us to grow closer to Our Lord. Take advantage of the Sacrament of Reconciliation and Holy Communion. Make it a point to receive the Eucharist as much as possible. It is extremely powerful, gives us strength, heals our hearts and works in ways that are indescribable. It is also helpful to go to Confession as often as you can to receive the healing, peace and free grace that God wants to give you. 

3 – CHARITY

Living a life of charity in serving others is a beautiful way to deepen our faith. As Catholics, we are called to put the needs of others before our own. Jesus shows us by His perfect example how to love and serve our neighbors. This could be anything from going to a soup kitchen and feeding the homeless to volunteering at a hospital. It could simply be extending a smile or hug to a family member in need, or  helping a friend with their homework after school or doing the dishes at home. Whatever it is in your life, do that act of service as if you were serving Christ himself. Serving others will draw you closer to the heart of Jesus and expand your capacity to love. 

Once you begin living out your faith through praying, receiving the Sacraments, and serving others through acts of charity, you will begin to experience Jesus in new and powerful ways.  In turn, your relationship with our Heavenly Father will be deepened, the gifts given to you by the Holy Spirit will be unleashed, and the mission given to you by Christ will be fulfilled. Your heart will begin to rejoice knowing that the longing in your heart has been completely filled with God’s perfect love.

Lauren Costabile is the  Social Media Coordinator for Array of Hope. As a performer in the Array of Hope Concert Event, she actively spreads the Gospel to young people and families through music and witness. She loves all things gluten free and strives to use her gifts and talents to spread joy and make our world a brighter place. 

Two months ago, my beautiful wife, Megan, gave birth to our perfect little girl, Zelie Anne. Born 6 pounds 11 ounces and 22 inches long, every bit of her was precious. The moment I held Zelie in my arms, my life was forever changed. Sure, Zelie has certainly thrown our daily routines for a loop. My wife and I get less sleep than we used to and have fewer date nights out on the town. Preparing meals is trickier, and the laundry piles up pretty quickly. My golf game has suffered a bit, and I have less time to read and watch sports than I would prefer. Life has certainly been altered in these ways, but that was expected for the most part. However, a much more deep and profound change has occurred—one that somewhat caught me off guard. When I became a father, it was as though a curtain was pulled back and my eyes were opened to an entirely new reality. In this reality I have found the reason for my hope.

Let me explain! 

Simply put, there is no love like that of a parent for his or her child.

If you have had the privilege of becoming a parent, then you know what I mean. This adorable, beautiful, pure, innocent baby is mine. Zelie trusts her mother and father entirely. She depends on us for her every need. When she is hungry we give her food. When she is tired we rock her to sleep. When she is cold we wrap her in her blankie. And what a joy it is to do this for her (even if it is three o’clock in the morning!). Zelie is completely vulnerable, and there is nothing I would not endure to protect her. She is entirely dependent, and there is nothing I would not do to provide for her.

Recently Zelie and I have discovered our new favorite activity together. When we go over to Grandma and Grandpa’s, we sneak away from the crowd and all the attention (Zelie sure gets a lot of attention at Grandma’s) to sit on the front porch in their rocking chair. This is such sacred time for Zelie and me. We listen to the birds chirping, watch the animals scurrying around, wave at the neighbors walking by, feel the warm breeze, and, of course, rock. Sometimes we sit silently, sometimes we sing, and sometimes we pray. I spend time on the porch looking into Zelie’s beautiful eyes, just thinking.

I think about the future. I wonder about the personality and temperament she will develop. I wonder what sports she will like to play, what instruments she will learn, where she will go to college, who she will marry. I dream about the first time she will see the beauty of a sunset on a warm summer night, or feel the peace of staring at the ocean while the waves crash on the shore, or the first time she experiences the triumph of climbing a mountain and gazing for miles over the landscape.

I also think about the state of the world she has been born into. What type of technological or medical advances will she live to see? Who will be the politicians leading our nation? In a time of unprecedented terrorism, countless mass shootings, and rising racial tensions, what type of world will Zelie experience? More than anything, I wish her success, health, happiness, and prosperity. However, the reality is that she may face hardships, failures, illness, and poverty. And much of this I cannot protect her from.

This finally, leads me to think about Zelie’s father. In these moments, I am confronted with the troubling reality of my own faults and failures. My beautiful baby girl was born into a world full of grief and violence and suffering. And worse yet, she has been given a father who, despite his best efforts, will love imperfectly.

For some time I grappled with this combination of hope and fear for my daughter. It was within this context that I had a profound encounter with the reason for my hope.

It happened on the day Zelie was baptized. Believe me when I tell you, much to my surprise, this day was more powerful and profound to me than the day Zelie was born! But that shouldn’t be such a surprise. On that day I was reminded that Zelie isn’t just the daughter of Tom Pagano. She is also the daughter of another Father, God the Father.  

And what kind of Father is our God?

Our Father is King (Zechariah 9:9), Creator (Genesis 1:1), Savior (Psalm 3:8), Alpha and Omega (Revelation 1:8). Our Father is compassionate (Exodus 34:6), generous (Psalm 132:15), mighty (Zephaniah 3:17), wise and strong (1 Corinthians 1:25), and his kingdom has no end (Luke 1:33). Our Father is a Giver (1 Timothy 6:17), Helper (Hebrews 13:6), Healer (Psalm 30:2) and Miracle Worker (Psalm 77:14). And the best part is, this Father loves us in a way that is beyond what we can comprehend. He will let nothing, absolutely nothing, separate us from his love (Romans 8:37–39).  

This truth overwhelmed me on Zelie’s baptismal day. Zelie is a daughter of the King and an heir to the kingdom of God—a kingdom that extends far beyond this world. No matter what Zelie experiences in this life, she will always be the daughter of a King whose love for her endures forever (Psalm 126). If God is with her, who can be against her (Romans 8:31)? No sickness or disease, no hardship or trial, no failure or disappointment can separate her from the love of God the Father. 

This reality overwhelmed my heart with love. As I reveled in this love, I began to realize that my experience with this love was not entirely new. Something about it was familiar; I had experienced this before. I knew this love. And in that moment, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to the reality that I’ve experienced this beautiful love as the recipient of it. As a child—a child of God. In becoming a father, I began to understand that this is the love that God the Father has for me, his beloved son. In that moment, I truly experienced the words of St. Paul to the Galatians: “Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”In becoming a father, I began to understand that this is the love that God the Father has for me, his beloved son.

We are all children of a loving God who wants to protect us and to provide for our every need. And the even greater news is that my love for Zelie is just a drop compared to the Father’s love for us. He loves her in a way that I never could.

He loves each of us better than we can possibly imagine.

So, this is my hope: that I may love Zelie to the best of my ability every day of my life. I hope that my imperfect love is a reflection of the perfect love of God the Father, and that Zelie allows His love to consume her heart entirely.  I hope she lives every day in the immeasurable peace, joy, and consolation that only the love of our Heavenly Father can bring.  And finally, I hope that one day, Zelie and I will enter through the Heavenly gates to dwell in the love of our true Father, together, for all eternity.

This blog is an excerpt from the Book: Beautiful Hope (https://dynamiccatholic.com/beautiful-hope-hardcover)

Tom Pagano –  resides in northern New Jersey with his wife, Megan, and their two children. He is a graduate of Franciscan University of Steubenville where he earned a degree in Business and Theology.  Tom works for a philanthropic consulting firm and in his free time enjoys reading, playing golf, and spending time with his family and friends. 

Forgiveness.

When you hear this word, what images or feelings come to your mind and heart? Do you smile, thinking how someone has forgiven you, especially God? Or is there a bitter taste of betrayal still lingering within you? Maybe thinking of forgiving someone makes your heart tighten into a knot, and feelings of hatred may even surface as a result.

When it comes to forgiveness we can have different attitudes. Our attitude may tend to be the person doesn’t deserve to be forgiven because they are likely to do it again. Or we want the person to learn from what they have done to us. We might even feel that it is not fair what was done to us and so the person should suffer until they can prove they really are sorry.
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Jesus gave us the “Our Father” as a powerful prayer, and He even talked the talk and walked the walk when it came to putting forgiveness into practice. He forgave a thief on the cross and even more importantly He forgave His persecutors; those who had Him crucified, drove the nails into His hands and feet, and those who were seeking for His blood, wanting Him to die. Thus Jesus showed us the way to forgive. He showed us that no matter what, we can forgive.
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Often our answer to forgiving someone is “I won’t forgive” or even “I can’t forgive.” I believe often the “can’t forgive” answer is right. My reason for this is that on our own we often can’t forgive.

But with God’s grace we can forgive.

We need to surrender the issue to Jesus, to lay it at the foot of His cross. We need to say, “Jesus, you died on the cross for my sins, and even for the sin of unforgiveness that is in my heart. Give me the grace to be able to forgive this person who hurt me so much. I need your grace to be able to forgive.”

We may need to keep surrendering this hurt and unforgiveness to Jesus. Whenever we feel the pain coming back when thinking of the situation we need to surrender it to Jesus again. Unforgiveness can eat us up. It can rob us of sleep, of peace of mind and even affect other relationships. When we are clinging to unforgiveness, bitterness and hatred with both of our hands, then our hands and especially our hearts are not open and free to receive the blessings our Loving Father is longing to give us. We may not even recognize the blessings He is already giving us.

Recently at Mass, the Gospel (Matthew 18:21-35) was about forgiveness. It was the parable of the king who forgives his debtor 10,000 talents, but in turn the pardoned one does not forgive the one who owed him a small amount of 100 talents in comparison.

During the homily the priest gave a powerful sermon of an example where he was meeting regularly and praying for someone who was dying. When they prayed the “Our Father” this priest was the only one praying “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us;” The man went silent during this part of the prayer. Father asked him gently why he kept silent.

The man’s answer stunned the priest. He shared how he experienced World War II at the hands of the Nazis. He escaped from home only to have his family murdered by the Nazis. Therefore he could not forget the Nazis for what they had done to him. He would not forgive them as long as he lived! The priest was lost for words and kept visiting him and praying for him.

Then another time when the reading was about the king forgiving his debtor the huge amount, the man’s heart was deeply pierced. He broke down in tears and forgave his persecutors. When he was dying he asked the priest to relay to his children his sorrow for not loving them properly as he had harboured such bitterness and unforgiveness in his heart. The man died and the priest was able to pass on the message to the children at the funeral.

This account of the man finally forgiving his persecutors touched me deeply. Father also said in his homily that it shows the interpersonal aspect of unforgiveness.

As I relate in my book “God: Fact or Fiction?”: “all sin affects others; there is no sin, not even one apparently done in secret that exclusively concerns the person committing it.” Saint John Paul II says in the Apostolic Exhortation, Reconciliation and Penance: “With greater or lesser violence, with greater or lesser harm, every sin has repercussions on the entire ecclesial body (Church) and the whole human family.”

Therefore every sin has effects that are personal and social.
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No matter whether you have had your heart shattered, your husband or wife left you, your children stole your money or used you, your parents betrayed you, or even if someone murdered someone you love, there is power in forgiveness.

It is possible to forgive.

It is crucial to forgive.Forgiveness sets you free. When you don’t forgive, the prisoner is you. When you forgive, a weight is lifted off your heart. As Jesus said “I have come that they may have life and live it to the fullest (John 10:10).” We can live life to the fullest as forgiveness leads to life. Forgiveness leads us to Jesus.

So life, right? It just keeps happening and is filled with so many choices you have to make. These choices start off small, as a child. Would you like to wear the pink shirt or the pink shirt with glitter? (Obviously it’s the one with glitter). As we get older, the choices become  significantly less structured. From a career path, to what to buy at a coffee shop, our adult lives are bombarded by decisions. I’m not even considering the agony picking out clothes has become (pro tip: it’s no longer ever the shirt with glitter).

This doesn’t even begin to touch on the panic inducing question: Is this God’s will?

I mean, I know some ladies see a super handsome, Catholic guy standing next to a rosebush at their church and just know St. Therese put it there years ago to tell them that God really wants them to discern their religious vocation to the Carmelites, but I have literally never experienced that.

We make choices every. single. day and sometimes we can make the wrong or bad choice. This is all part of life, we are human. We make mistakes, and we know, at least in some way, that those mistakes can have painful consequences in our life. So, with many, if not all, of the choices we make seek to minimize the disorder in our lives. A wrong turn could make you a few minutes late, and while annoying, is not the end of the world. However, other decisions, like drinking and driving, might end your world, or that of someone else.

When it comes to vocation, whether taken in the “state of life” sense or in the “what the heck am I doing with my life?”, we wait for signs or validation. Sometimes we may not get the answer we’re looking for. God (usually) doesn’t strike you down with a flash of light to tell you what do with your life (like He did with St. Paul). Well then, you wonder, how else are you ever possibly supposed to figure out what He wants from you?

I’ve had many conversations where I have literally no clue what to do with my life. But, I’ve been in that “complaining, anxious, spiral-freak out, lost dark place” enough that I’ve also started figuring some things out and listening to the things being said around me in those moments. From this, I’ve managed to come up with a couple principles that have helped this whole “figuring out God’s will” thing come to make more sense.

1. Ask Yourself: “Do I want to do this?”

This one falls under “heard around me,” thanks to John Hall. While we were catching up, and I expressed my worries of what I wanted to do with my life. John shared his usual wisdom and suggested that I consider pursuing hobbies that I enjoyed instead of wasting my time doing things I didn’t even like doing. This makes a surprising amount of sense. If you don’t want to do something that causes you grief or anxiety, then you shouldn’t give weight to it.

As St. Alphonsus Liguori said, “God wills only our good; God loves us more than anybody else can or does love us.”

2. Ask Yourself: “Is this a viable option for me in reality?”

So, I’m an idealist. I love nothing more than an unrealistic possibility. Once, I ran a half-marathon, and at mile eight, I was regretting it. I wished that I had run the mile before trying a marathon. It was around mile eight that I started wishing I had even just run ten miles before trying this out. I was in so much pain at the end of it. My intent was to power through, because in my head, I never fully considered the criteria behind “actually running it”

At times, we do this when discerning God’s will. For example, say you are married and have a few kids and you experience a reversion to your faith. You decide that you now want to dedicate your life to the Lord and strive for sanctity. Though you can still strive for holiness and dedicate your life to the Lord, it would be imprudent to leave your family behind to join the priesthood or cloister.

I’ve learned to establish my own internal and external limitations. It’s freeing to realize that there actually are limits in your life, and that maybe God put them there for a reason. I’ve become less anxious because of my limitations!

3. Ask Yourself: “Does this make me Holy?”

This one comes from another friend named John (like half your friends aren’t Mary or John or Matthew?), when we were recently talking about how I could know what God wanted for me in the next year or so. I was in fact doing the “dwell-spiral-panic tango”, and he finally asked “Well, is this kind of thinking bringing you closer to God or not?” If you are anxiously ruminating over something that is not going to bring you closer to God, then don’t do it. 

Many of you are probably wondering how I know this, right? Well, thankfully, God is a good Father, and the Holy Spirit inspired all sorts of helpful tips in Sacred Scriptures. As St. Paul tells us in Galatians 5:22-23, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” If you are doing your best to grow in your love for God and neighbor, and you see something making you grow deeper in that love, bearing those fruits of the Holy Spirit, then it’s probably something you should keep doing.

However, if you are trying your best to grow deeper with God (and this is where a spiritual director can be super helpful) and find that this job/activity/friendship/relationship is still leading you to the works of the flesh (such as immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, choosing sides, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like, as Saint Paul says), then maybe you might want to reconsider, and instead, follow the path that will lead you back to God. 

Here’s the thing: God isn’t “messing with us” or trying to make it super difficult for us to see His will, He only wants what is best for each one of us! 

Remember, The Father sent the Son because He wanted to give us a heart to know God. He wants us to be His Church so that He can really be our Father. He sent His only Son to die on the Cross to redeem us so that we could love Him with our whole hearts. How awesome is that?

Do you really think a God who loves us so much that He sent His only Son, wants us to be spiraling in panic about finding His will?

NO! He wants us to know that He truly does love us. He wants us to trust that His will for us, whether it is for just the immediate future or the seriously long term future, becomes manifest through prayer in our everyday life.

And yes, sometimes you will get a rose. Sometimes God will come in a flash of lightning and say “go preach my name to the nations.” However, for most of us, God’s plan will be revealed to us by far more ordinary means. Extraordinary things happen to ordinary people in ordinary times!

Marina (Olson) Brungardt has an M.A. in theology from Ave Maria University and is working on a Ph.D. in Politics from Hillsdale College. When not blogging, she is also a high school teacher, a doctoral student, a wife, and a (soon-to-be) mother. She lives in Chile with her husband and together research topics including cosmology, Aristotelian and Thomistic philosophy, physics, and other things involving a lot of math. Check out her blog “Eating Peaches” at www.patheos.com/blogs/eatingpeaches

Ah spring! It is the time of year when I open the windows for fresh air, clean away winter’s clutter, and get the garden patch ready for planting. Embraced by the sun’s light and warmth, I love to be in the midst of budding trees and flowers as I prepare my garden and plant my seeds. Honestly, I always buy more seeds than I am ever able to plant!

Of course, spring is a glorious time of year for another reason. Perhaps God gives us the signs and wonders of spring—nature’s rebirth after the dead of winter—to inspire our own preparations for the celebration of Easter. With the Resurrection of Christ, God gives us the way to be reborn. The Light of the world embraces and frees us from the darkness of sin and death, enabling each of us to recognize God’s love in our lives.  So how can we prepare?

Open the window to our lives:

For God’s love to enter into our being and our world, we need to be opened! Think of Mary, our Blessed Mother. Mary was completely open to accept our Lord into herself at the Annunciation and she remained open to accept all of us into her heart at the foot of her Son’s cross. Where would we be if Mary had closed her mind, hardened her heart, and refused the Holy Spirit in her soul? For the love of God and humanity, may we always remain open to our Lord and may we never forget that “God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God, and God remains in him.” [1 John 4:16]

Clear away the clutter:

To make room for our Lord’s love, we need to clean away the clutter of sin and distraction from our hearts, minds, and souls. The season of Lent gives us the opportunity to cleanse ourselves of habits, vices, attachments, or anything else that distracts us from following our Lord’s will and His way. Consider this: In His act of humility, obedience, and love of God, Christ emptied Himself to be filled with the Holy Spirit which our Lord pours out as a gift of love to each of us. For holiness to unfold in our lives, we must make ourselves the proper dwelling place for our Lord.

Sow the seeds of God’s love:

“The seed sown on rich soil is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold,” said Jesus [Matthew 13:23]. With the Word of God planted in our hearts, minds, and souls, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can be Christ-like in our daily living and see Christ in others as we share the fruits of peace, hope, and love with one another.

Out of the greatness of His love and through His life, death, and Resurrection, our Lord gives us everything we need to start life anew. In return, for the love of the Holy Trinity and for one another, we are called to participate in the Lord’s work of our redemption, which reminds me of a story:

A man and woman, very distraught about today’s problems, walk into a store and see Jesus Christ standing behind the sales counter. As they look for something to lift their spirits, Jesus suggests they make a list of what they want to buy. They list peace, hope, and love for the world. In return, Jesus gives them a packet of seeds as well as the equipment and instructions to make them grow. He explains that to have peace, hope, and love grow in the world, they have to work the seeds and tend to them daily so nothing will impede their growth. The man and woman left the store, buying nothing.

We should not be discouraged by the challenges we face or by the work we have to do to follow the way, the truth, and the life of our Lord.

Each one of us has a unique offering of peace, hope, and love to give to the world because each one of us is unique by God’s design—like flowers in a garden. From the tiniest wild flower to the sweetest rose, each flower serves a purpose—to bring beauty into our world.

The same holds true for us. Big or small, rich or poor, single or married, weak or strong, each of us has a purpose—to bring the beauty of peace, hope, and love into the world by the way we live, work, and treat one another. So long as we remain faithful and prayerful to God, nothing is impossible. And like flowers in the spring, prayer and good works have a way of spreading— while giving glory to God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen!

Carol Monaco is an independent writer and speaker. For the past 17 years, she has been the writer/editor of Journey to Our Lady,  a spiritual publication that helps readers seek out a closer relationship to our Blessed Mother, who draws the faithful closer to the Holy Trinity.  From her Journey, Carol has authored Treasures of the Rosary and Heavenly Mother Help Me; Prayers, Poetry and Prose for Daily Living, as companions for individuals trying to live their faith every day.  Her devotional columns can be found in Liguorian magazine, CatholicStand.com and Catholic365.com. Carol’s spiritual reflections, poetry, and prayers are available on her web site: www.journeytoourlady.com and on Twitter:  Carol Monaco @journey2ourlady. 

Every year, consumers spend millions of dollars for Valentine’s Day, whether it’s to purchase flowers, chocolates, cards, candy hearts, and stuffed animals. It’s insane to see how much money is spent to prove one’s “love” for their significant others, families, and friends. For the record, I wait to buy the left over chocolates for a 50% discount the next day.

Though Valentine’s Day is not an official Catholic Holiday, it’s beautiful to have a special day to celebrate the love shared between all persons. Whether you are single or married, Valentine’s Day reminds us all of our inner desire to be cherished and loved.

For those of us who are single, it can be difficult to navigate through Valentine’s Day without feeling hints of sadness or loneliness. We begin imagining what our lives would be like if we had someone out there who would care for us as much as Jim Halpert did for Pam Beasley in The Office. We begin pitying ourselves and asking why God hasn’t provided us with the perfect person to receive and reciprocate our love.

Isn’t God the one who inspired the Bible which begins with a marriage in the book of Genesis (the marriage between Adam and Eve) and ends with a marriage in Revelation (the marriage between Christ and the Church)? If God has written the greatest love story ever told and said that it is “not good for man to be alone,” then why are so many people today single? How do we discern where God is leading us at this stage in life? Here are 3 helpful ways to navigate being single and Catholic (especially on Valentine’s Day).

Understanding Our Desires and Priorities

Desires and Priorities are very important in our lives since they say a lot about what kind of people we are and offer insight into what matters most to us. They impact the decisions we make, the people we surround ourselves with, the work we undertake, the attitudes we bring to everything we do, and the way we communicate with each other. They give structure to our lives and help us live out our vocation to love God and others.

It’s good to keep our priorities in order as we discern God’s will! In fact, the word “priority” comes from the Latin word Prior meaning precedence in right or rank. Our priorities help us live our faith lives to the best of our abilities. When we are more intentional with our priorities, we begin unifying ourselves to God’s will. This leads to continual repentance and conversion within our hearts. In turn, we begin to understand what God is seeking from us. 

The word “desire” comes from the Latin word Desiderare meaning “to look to the stars” (from the phrase de sidere “from the stars”). Our desires come from something, or someone who is found beyond the stars. Our desires come from God. There is something burning within each of us for the true, the good, and the beautiful. God has given us these good desires because He intends to fulfill them.

We are created to be a total “self-gift” to others.

 Our very bodies tell the story of our incompleteness to this truth, goodness, and beauty- a man’s body does not make sense by itself and a woman’s body does not make sense by itself either. Only when seen in light with other is the picture complete. That is where the Theology of the Body comes into play. Human sexuality (our maleness and femaleness and the call to completion) provides us vital information on what God expects of us. Our bodies give us clues to the very meaning of existence and the path to the ultimate satisfaction of our deepest desires.

As men and women God creates us with a desire for union- precisely to tell the story of His love for us.

But wait, we are single! How can we, in our incompleteness, know God?

It’s actually pretty simple – TOTAL SELF GIFT!

God has entrusted us to become total self-gift to all those we love and serve. That is what Jesus did. He gave all of himself to the Church, and that is what He is asking us to do too.

Living Out the Single Vocation

We are all given a specific mission to fulfill on this earth. Each one of us has been given the task to offer all of ourselves to those we serve. Husbands are called to give all of themselves to their wives (bodily and spiritually) – it’s the same for the wives—and it’s the same for married couples, except then it’s for their children. It’s also the same for those in the Priestly or Religious vocations. They are called to give all of themselves to God and to their spiritual families. As single Catholics, we must do the same. We must stop worrying so much about ourselves and focus on our families, friends, communities, and even the world.

Let’s face it, many of us have gotten so wrapped up in the fact that we are still single, that we have forgotten our main purpose in life. We so easily forget that God has called us to sacrifice ourselves for those around us.

We need to focus on what God wants of us today and let Him worry about our “tomorrow.” It’s easier said than done, but God gives us all a season of singleness to serve Him in many ways. We must think of it this way: before we can truly love another, we must be secure and content in His Love alone.

It is in our greatest times of loneliness, that He can inspire us to look beyond ourselves and serve those who are even lonelier than we are. Think about it, the happiest people on earth are those who forget about themselves.

In this season of singleness, turn to prayer and ask God how He wants you to serve Him and others. Keep a journal, see the patterns in your life, speak with a Spiritual Director, and, most importantly, trust in God’s will. We must always remember what Jesus said, “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. There is no greater love than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (Jn 15:12-13). Stay blessed my friends.

Carolina Soares is the Event Coordinator of Array of Hope. She received a Master’s Degree in Theology at Immaculate Conception Seminary School of Theology at Seton Hall University.  She is a Portuguese geek who is very passionate about her Catholic faith and family! She looks up to Saint Teresa of Calcutta for inspiration and thinks C.S. Lewis is pretty amazing!

I have found that two streams can run through one’s life simultaneously — one, a deep current of sadness, the other a bubbling spring of joy. But I admit that I have often found myself overwhelmed by the stream of heartache and have taken for granted the glimpses of joy that can be found on an otherwise dreary day.

Following two tragic events — the deaths of my beloved mother and father — I have learned five ways to rediscover joy. And that discovery has made my life a little more peaceful, more hopeful, and more manageable.

1. Pray for eyes to see the good things in life.

Good things abound in our world — the sweetness of a triple layer chocolate cake — the comfort of friends — the mesmerizing beauty of the sun on a cold winter’s day. But sometimes these blessings seem to disappear from our sight, as we focus primarily on our problems. By fine-tuning our vision, we can have a greater appreciation for the sunny side of life.

2. Adopt an attitude of gratitude.

Studies have shown that experiencing gratitude can lift our spirits. Long ago, a friend recommended that, at the end of each day, I list five things for which I am grateful. If I reflect hard enough, I find that my list encompasses more than five things. A wise priest, after I had made my Confession, gave me an unusual penance: I was to sit in the church and contemplate all those things for which I was thankful. My reflection lasted a full half-hour, and I felt much closer to Jesus as a result.

3. Commit a random act of kindness.

Just thinking up a secret act of kindness to perform can be fun! One of my friends routinely pays for the order of the person behind her in the drive-thru line at a local restaurant. I myself have been the recipient of her random generosity and, as a result, we were both richly blessed.

4. Reach out to a friend.

Just a quick Facebook message or a call can open up a rewarding conversation. At times, I have found that just hearing a friend’s voice can provide a profound moment of joy. A friend can often offer a life raft when one feels as if one is drowning in the sorrows of life.

5. Engage in some music therapy.

Music is the soundtrack of our lives. I have found that if I am in the car and I crank up my favorite tunes, I receive an instant lift. Whether your jam is Maroon 5 or Mozart, a musical interlude may be just what you need to rediscover joy. As one entertainer has remarked, music is medicine.

Most important of all, remember to follow the words of St. Teresa of Calcutta, and never let today’s troubles overshadow the joy of the Resurrection. For it is in Christ that we will find our everlasting joy!

Maria Gallagher serves as Legislative and Political Action Committee Director for the Pennsylvania Pro-Life Federation, the state affiliate of National Right to Life.  Prior to her work with the Federation, Maria worked as a legislative associate with Ohio Right to Life.  Before joining the pro-life cause, Maria worked as a reporter and news producer.  Her journalistic work has received awards from the Ohio Associated Press, the Press Club of Cleveland, and the Society of Professional Journalists.  Maria earned her Bachelor’s degree in journalism at Ohio State University and her Master’s degree in journalism at Northwestern University.  She is the author of an eBook, A Pro-Life Guide to the Media, and has served as a freelance writer for numerous websites and publications, including CatholicMom.com, LifeNews.com and Our Sunday Visitor.